A Late Post and Serving Tables
I haven't talked much about it, mostly because I've been thinking a lot about it.
Late post, uncontrolled seizures, and serving tables.
I had the privilege of speaking at the Dakota County Regional Chamber of Commerce Women's Leadership Forum in March.
It's now June and I haven't talked much about it, mostly because I've been thinking a lot about it.
What an opportunity to speak with top women leaders to a crowd of hundreds with the amazing Elizabeth Ries from Twin Cities Live. (I really admire Elizabeth for her authenticity and down-to-earth approach with her brand. Have you checked out her stories about chickens, recipes, and all things Minnesota?!)
I'm a little emotional thinking about it. A bit shocked at this opportunity.
I was invited to be on the panel by Kayla Hudson, an amazing human who is smart and so good at what she does. We met eons ago when I was serving tables (during a very slow period at Envision) to make extra cash. It was a frustrating and sad time for me. She was a bartender and could manage with grace and beauty when she was in the weeds. Always friendly and on point and wicked smart.
I say all this because: Everything and I mean everything can work out. What was a really hard, embarrassing time for me turned into an opportunity where I got to know Kayla and vice versa. Through this experience and many more, she thought I could bring value on this panel.
A little mind blowing.
I spoke about how I went through burnout following my mom's death and my son's journey with uncontrolled seizures and the following epilepsy diagnosis. And how I made it through when our oldest was struggling with his own mental health following my mom's stage 4 diagnosis and transition to heaven.
On top of this, my amazing partner-in-the-foxhole-of-life was gone for 20 days a month. He's an amazing dad and spouse and more present than most who are home every night. But I learned about single parenting well when it was really hard. I made peace with being a failure as a single parent so many times.
This was.all.a.lot but to be clear the burnout started before this. These situations only solidified what I shouldn't have been ignoring. And when we ignore, then life goes from whispering to shouting. And boy did it hit me hard. I could no longer work (or positive thinking) my way out of it. I had to slow.WAY.down and start listening to my nervous system and my body. I had to set stronger boundaries. I took a sabbatical. I embraced a duality in my faith.
I've told my story in San Diego, Dallas, Aspen, Phoenix, Bend, OR, and Minneapolis. Some of them were standing ovations which surprised me. I say this not to stroke an ego but to say that my message resonates so it's been worth it. So many of us are walking the tight rope. Some of us are listening to the quiet whisper which says: more ease and light and simple. Some of us need a full on cement truck to the head like me.
I may not be popular for saying this but 'grind and hustle' are not badges to wear, nor something to be proud of. I lived that for many years. To this day, I have to check myself on if I'm trying to wear the Grind and Hustle badge. It can be ugly.
I NEVER would have voluntarily signed up for the past five years. I honestly wasn't sure if I could walk the journey. But I learned a lot, whether it was serving tables, sitting in the ER with my son, single parenting while running a business, or trying to get through the day.
Jay has been seizure free for 15+ months; Ryan is walking through his own faith journey with honesty and authenticity; Jeff has accomplished one of his life goals to be a captain; and I'm stronger, more resilient, and more ready and willing to tell my story moving forward.
We are still in the middle of that story on many fronts, but I'm slowly learning that if we don't give up, the cement truck experience can turn into a beautiful work of cement art that tells a story, and, ultimately helps others.
That keeps me going.
Resting In the Mess
I'll never forget this day in 2022.
First, I had to DECIDE that I was going to work less. And take action. I shut my laptop every day at 1pm, regardless of my list.
TALK to God. Ask: Who are you? Who am I? What should I work on today?
GIVE UP THE NEED FOR CONTROL - Make decisions that defy what "good" business is saying to do.
EMPOWER YOUR TEAM and others around you. God will bring people.
KEEP IT SIMPLE. Everything is less: Say less. Do less. Be less. Laser focus on what’s important, execute on that. Saying ‘no’ is as important as 'yes.'
TALK AND THINK WELL. Words and thoughts are powerful.
ENGAGE with like-minded people and a mastermind group. Let them support.
TAKE A PURPOSEFUL REST. Dream and journal.
KNOW YOUR NUMBERS. The numbers always speak. There are many numbers beyond the financials to consider. Are you sleeping better? Do you have more time with your family? Is your blood pressure down? Choose a number and focus on that with the Lord.
Charging What You’re Worth
It starts with knowing yourself.
Charging what you’re worth isn’t about ego—it’s about alignment.
When I began asking not: “What will they pay?” but “What is this worth?” —everything changed.
I stopped chasing. I started listening. And I began showing up with quiet clarity instead of fear.
Before You Begin
Before you can fully charge what you’re worth, you need to know the following.
1. Your Vision
Know yourself and your Gifts. Take the free MDNA Gifts assessment at www.mdna.cloud/gifts
Quote: From GodTalks – “When we come from love and truly care about the other person or business, we can be free to charge our true value.”
Most of my success comes from:
Curiosity (asking great questions)
Truly caring about the person in front of you
2. Your Goals
Define what success looks like.
Know your business model.
Build your team.
Charge premium pricing based on flat fees.
Consider monthly billing with a 30-day cancellation clause.
Be willing to focus.
Say a big “yes” when it’s right.
Be willing to say “no.”
Generally decline smaller projects unless deeply aligned.
Know the ups and downs.
Technical Details
Avoid placing large totals on SOWs; use monthly pricing with down payment.
Use a spreadsheet—know your costs.
Learn Excel to track and project.
Be a bulldog about results—know what you’re producing and when.
Speak the price out loud—get comfortable with discomfort.
3. Your Audience
Know exactly who you’re speaking to—get specific.
Age, gender, marital status, kids (how many, how old?)
Income level
Cultural background or region
Education level
Work status: corporate, retired, self-employed, trade-based?
Interests/hobbies: clubs, lifestyle, stores, food preferences
What matters to them? What upsets them? What makes them laugh?
What do they care about in a product or service (e.g. design, affordability, prestige)?
What are their personal values?
Develop a client avatar:
Example: Meet “Marcus”
50s, hipster businessman with a goatee and white Nike shoes
Progressive, creative, counter-cultural, authentic
Runs a company of 150–350 employees
Wants his team and customers aligned with a strong, differentiated brand
Feels potential, but needs clarity and engagement
Worried about competition and internal disengagement
Seeks harmony between internal culture and external brand
4. Marketing Goals
How You Will Market
Resource: Dana Wilde – Train Your Brain.
Choose one marketing vehicle that feels light, easy, and joyful.
Track Your Results
Metrics matter—know what’s working and what’s not.
5. Message
Resource: StoryBrand by Donald Miller
Elements to clarify:
Your audience
The problem they face
Your solution
The results/outcomes you offer
Emphasize:
What problem you’re solving
The results they’ll experience
6. Visuals
What color palettes, typography, color, style, image direction, etc reflect who you are?
7. Team
Revisit the problem you solve.
Build your team based on the kind of transformation your clients need.
Hire aligned support, not just skilled labor.
A Simple Checklist
Want to charge what you’re worth without losing your peace?
Here’s a few additional questions to ask:
Do I actually want this work?
Have I prayed and paused—or just pressured myself?
Is this price reflective of the value—not just my time?
Have I created simplicity for the client—and for me?
Would I say yes to this if I were on the receiving end?
Am I leading with peace or performance?
Can I release the outcome, no matter what?
Deep, Impactful Work
When you’re called to do deep, impactful work—your pricing should match your purpose.
And when you’re aligned with that purpose, the right people don’t just accept your value—they honor it. So to the woman wrestling with “too much” and “not enough” all at once. You are worth what you carry. You are allowed to charge for the wisdom God entrusted to you. And you never, ever have to hustle to prove it.
There’s a lighter way. It’s called alignment. It’s called rest. And it’s yours.